It all started in 2009 as a screwball post about Tim McGraw. I had just heard his song It’s A Business Doing Pleasure With You and specifically the line “I spent fif-teen hundred dollars on your damn- dog’s -collar / Put new spinners on your Escalade” and was slapping the side of my head trying to get it back out when I wondered: who in the hell wrote this song? Beware the little pebbles found in the bottom of a shoe – they’re hard to shake out.
That simple question took me into a rabbit hole littered with pop country stars and well, to use a phrase from my high school days, butt rockers. It wasn’t pretty.
So the butt rocker that wrote that crappy song for Tim McGraw was none other than crappy Nickelback front-man Chad Kroeger and that blog post has had more hits than loaves and fishes. Ostensibly, this is a country music blog, so you would be forgiven for thinking that McGraw was the commonly searched for person. You would be wrong. I can’t remember one time the words “tim” and “mcgraw” have appeared on the site stats “searched for terms” page. Classic country and Tim McGraw – two roads that shall never cross apparently.
Not so true about our pal Mr. Kroeger. Not only has he consistently been one of the most hits on the site, he has the dubious distinction of almost always having some type of attached word or phrase: married, wife, single, is Chad… and it goes on and on. Enough so that I wrote about the phenomenon in 2010 and again in a year end post with a beautiful hand drawn Venn diagram showing my most popular posts of the year:
Now, I don’t know if Nickelback has been in a slump lately, or Chad’s lovely 37 year old locks don’t thrill the girls quite like they used too, but there has been a noticeable (and appreciated) decline on the Kroeger hits and subsequent hate mail. Then he had to go and actually get himself engaged. The maelstrom has begun all over again. I have only myself to blame I suppose. I have nothing more to add. I barely know who Avril Lavigne is. Are we all sure someone a few years ago in an anonymous AP press room didn’t accidentally type a V instead of a P? I can believe that as easily as I can believe no one has caught it yet.
I could delete those old posts, and that would take care of the immediate issue, no doubt. But, I would still know. I would still know. I leave you with the imminent wisdom of the dead, Mr. Jacob Marley:
I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! I gartered it on of my own free will and by my own free will, I wore it!
Dear Jesus, please help this marriage stick. Thanks.